Oh My Aching Feet & Then WTF!?!?

For the past week, I have been working. There is nothing unusual about that. However, if you've been reading Notations you know there is much more to the story. Before last week, I was out of work for over a year. After being laid off, I went through the throes of The Interview Process, of which I came in second place far too often for my liking. It got me nowhere, no crown, no whirlwind tour, and the winner was always able to fulfill her duties.

So, I started seeking work outside my career path. For an eye blink I thought it would be in Retail. I got not one, but two jobs, at major department stores. The first one was an on-call position. Funny thing is -- they never called me! I called them, twice, to ask about hours. Both times that I did, the person who answered was polite, apologetic, and promised a return phone call soon. I went through their training and that was that. I hope to receive a check in the mail for my training time served. We'll see. If not, I have another phone call to make to them. The second Retail job was also for part-time hours much to my chagrin. I am certain that in the interview full time was discussed, but halfway through training I was informed otherwise. So much for that. One week of on-the-job training and I was on the job hunt again. In order to buy food and pay rent, I need at least 40 hours a week.

Around the corner from where I live is a store where I have sent faxes on occasion. The last time I sent a fax was about 2-3 weeks ago. While filling out the cover sheet, I noticed a help wanted sign on the counter. I asked about it and was handed an application. I returned it, completed, the following day.

Long story short, as the saying goes, I was hired a few days later. I am now a packaging, shipping, faxing, copying apprentice. I even have a logo shirt and name tag to prove it. Oh, I've never been more proud! Hey, this job is $8.00 an hour, probably 40 hours a week. I might even be able to see a movie once in awhile! After I catch up on all my overdue bills, that is.

Anyway, back to my feet. The two that are aching. And when I say "aching" I mean excruciating throbbing agony. For all of my adult life, I have had a desk job. You know, a sit-down job where the computer is right in front of me, a bottle of water at my fingertips, snacks in a handy drawer to my left, phone just to the right of my keyboard, bathroom just down the hall. I don't think that in all of my adult life I have needed to stand up for more than 30 consecutive minutes, maybe 60 if the movie I was in line for was a blockbuster on opening weekend.

Well, after a week at this packaging, shipping, faxing, copying store, I have arrived at the conclusion that Humankind was not meant to stand for any extended length of time. Why else would inventors have toiled so long and hard to perfect the chair, stool, lounger, bed, couch, sofa, davenport, wing-back, bench, rocker, chesterfield, divan, love seat... well, you get the idea.

We have a fascination with sitting and we're very good at it. Standing is over-rated. Actually, its never even been rated at all. We don't like to stand. It affects our posture, causing us to slouch and slump. It strains our backs and puts uncomfortable tweaks in our necks. It even swells our feet and legs. Why then does every single store I have ever entered force their cashiers to stand in front of their machines for hour after hour? Seems simple enough to have available a chair or, heck, even a stool to sit upon when the feet hit that inevitable wall. You know that wall. It's when when emergency signals race up to the brain screaming "Take the freaking load off us. We're little and way down here. We can't take your weight for one more damned second!"

You never see management standing for eight or more hour shifts. No no, they sit in comfy chairs, sipping coffee, gossiping and giggling about which poor slob they'll send all the way to The Back to get more (heavy) inventory to stock on shelves and racks. Or maybe it'll be a mission all the way on the other side of the store in a department you don't even work in. And then they'll watch on monitors or slouched over a counter to ensure that said slob does not hesitate or sit or lean upon a counter for even half a minute.

You might think I'm exaggerating. Maybe I am, but surely not by much. In my latest endeavor at the packaging, shipping, faxing, copying store, the owner sits for much of the day (when he is there at all) at his desk toward the rear of the store. Typically, he is occupied by his phone or his computer, while eavesdropping on his slobs at the front as they handle the customers. For all I know, he's surfing porn back there.

When he hears something we say that he feels requires additional explanation (and usually much to the dismay of the customer who just wants to drop off his or her package and escape), he jumps up and yes... stands! For about five or six minutes, before returning to the security and comfort of his chair.

The counters of his store where I and the other employees stand are just a little too high for us to easily slide on and off of. There isn't even a chance of resting a single butt cheek to offer our suffering swollen feet a moment's reprieve. On purpose? You decide.

I purchased new rubber soled shoes and even added cushioning. I was "gellin'" but it sure wasn't "workin'" for me. Four hours of solid standing and I whimper my way daily to the bathroom where at least women have the luxury of a porcelain throne to recline upon for a few precious minutes. Whether I actually need to go or not is not the issue. What is important is that I lengthen my stay there for as long as possible without letting anyone think I've fallen in or perhaps died. And then back to the slightly too high counter for me until I hit the next insurmountable wall.

A co-worker has happily told me that your feet never stop hurting. I thanked her for such a blessing to look forward to.

And then....

Today, I got laid off.

Yeah, again. From a crap job. Seems that the person who was supposed to be leaving changed his mind when the boss offered him something he couldn't refuse. Horse's head, anyone?

So, tomorrow off I go again on the Job Hunt. Yay me. At least this time, I know what to expect.

It's going to hurt.

Retail Loves Me

Yesterday something remarkable happened. I was handed a job. Just like that. Easy peasy. This makes two days in a row that I've sought and found employment. Sure, there's nothing particularly amazing about this except for the fact that I've been looking for a job for over a year now. Obviously, with no luck.

I'll elaborate. For the past 10 years, I've been an online marketer. I was happy about this and good at it. I'd created a career for myself that paid a respectable salary after my disastrous decision to major in English in college. I’d thought I’d become a publishing maven. After a short jaunt in those old school halls, I discovered, much to my dismay, that the pay in publishing is near non-existent on the first few rungs of the ladder. At least it was back then. I doubt that's changed very much today.

So when I discovered the Internet, my eyes opened to a whole new world of possibilities. I wrangled a job in the internet department of a large company and began to make my mark. I settled happily on search engine marketing (those fancy little ads on the top and side of Google) and I made my new company a lot of unexpected income. Go me! Or so I thought. Once I'd shown them the way to go, they decided to hire an agency to do the work I'd been doing for them and then proceeded to give me the boot. I suppose that was a lesson for me. There's no loyalty in business.

Well, I went ahead and made an entire pitcher of lemonade from those sour lemons (I added a lot of sugar). I landed a much better job in my newly chosen career path and six years later was promptly laid off when the economy took a nosedive. Heh. Serves me right for forgetting my hard learned lesson about loyalty.

Over a year has gone by since that fateful day in May when I got that phone call from Human Resources. The one that says, "Hey, Diane. Can you stop by my office for a minute?" And off I went again to update my resume and hit the interview beat. Trouble was, this time around, there were dozens of me's out there all seeking the same job because they'd been laid off too. Well, they must all have been hired because the opportunities dried up. I was left holding a worthless piece of paper in one hand (my resume) and a ton of bills in my other hand.

I can't even count how many times I came in second to the person who did get the job. Better luck next time. We'll keep your resume on file. I can't count how many times I got an email saying how impressed they were with my qualifications but they decided to go another way. I started to doubt myself.

I stopped looking altogether, needing a break from all the rejection, and rode the unemployment pony for awhile. I caught up on The View and became addicted to HGTV while silently cursing those people who turned down potential homes because they didn't like the color of the granite counter tops. They were quibbling over an inch or two of workspace in the kitchen while I wondered where the next rent check would come from.

Alright, I'm getting a little maudlin. I haven't been quite that desperate yet. But it is true that my savings is almost sucked dry and I was thrown from the pony when unemployment stopped rolling in each week.

Ok, enough. Back to the good news.

I have not one, but two jobs! One full time and one on call. Again, go me!! True, they're both in a field I've never worked in and the pay is minimum wage, but that's just more lemons for the sweet nectar that is lemonade. Who knew that Retail would love me!? Surely, if I'd known I would have gone a courtin' at the malls much sooner. I wouldn't have gone these long four months without the bolstering arrival of a check in the mail. Now, I have an income! Minuscule, sure, but it's a start. I'm going to ride this sucker to the finish line. I'm going to awaken my dormant ambitions to new goals. There's a huge ladder in Retail and I'm going to climb it.

Tomorrow, I must go pee in a cup to assure my new employer that I am not on drugs.

Stay tuned. This is going to get good.

Today Something Happened

Today I landed a job. Nothing too remarkable about that except that I'd been seeking one for over a year. I got laid off in May of '09 from a job that I thought I'd keep until retirement. A job I enjoyed in online marketing. So much for best laid plans as the economy tanked. Anyway, today I got a job. Sort of. In retail sales, something I've never done before. I'm now on call at a large well-known department store for $7.40 per hour. I can look forward to approximately 10-15 hours of work a week. The math on this one is easy. I'll be lucky to take home $400 per month. That's a long fall from $67,000 per year plus performance bonus.

I suppose beggars can't be choosers. That's how the expression goes, isn't it? My unemployment benefits ran out a few months ago, and I have since been sucking dry my meager savings. Any employment is good employment, I suppose. My goal now is to make this work, get rave reviews from whoever my managers will be, and pick up as many hours as I can. This plan should lead to full time, 40 hours per week, and that much more income to pay my bills.

So this is how I begin my days of blogging. With this good news of a sort. I'm happy about it, but not really. It's nothing to sing and dance about. As my fiancé said, we'll still go broke but it'll just take a little longer now. That was a joke, sort of.

Do I sound bitter? That's because I am. I'm 46 years old and too tired to start a new career. Except that I have no choice. Ha! I sound like Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon. Ah well, time to make some lemonade out of the lemons life has handed me. Let's see. Here's one glass of that sugary sweet libation. I now have an excuse to purchase some new clothing! And, I get an employee discount of 20% off in the bargain! Yeah, I can live with that. Things are looking up already.

Now for some more fun. My job hunting days are far from over. Since I don't have regular hours, and hence, no steady income, I must find another job. A daunting task, yes, since it took me this long to get my first, but I remain optimistic. The snot-nosed little kid who hired me today (yeah, he was a twenty-something), did so on the spot. Maybe being crazy overqualified, which little snot nose reminded me of more than twice, at a retail position is the way to go. I'll find out soon enough. I have another interview lined up for tomorrow at another well known national department store. Maybe I can be on call at two retail locations. Fingers crossed. Whoo hoo!

I'm a writer (unpublished, yet) so I hope I've not already become a boring blogger. I'm not all that good at writing nonfiction. I prefer dark tales of bad things happening to good people and how they rise to the occasion to battle the forces of evil to become heroes to themselves and those around them. Errr, sort of. And now that I think about it, that, hopefully, describes my life as it is right now. I should start seeking an agent. This could be my big break! Not really, and for the record, I like writing simple urban fantasy and horror stories.

I suppose that anyone who stumbles upon this diary of mine can come along for the ride as I chronicle my Adventures in Retail. Hmm, sounds like a book I'd read. Hey! I should write it! Anyway, I welcome all those who do find their way to my humble blogging abode. Have a look around, read a few words. Heck, even settle in and put your feet up on the furniture. I don't mind at all. Here's a glass of lemonade, the use of coasters are optional.

Well, there you go. I've written my self-imposed goal of a minimum of 600 words. I should have striven for 700, I'm sooo close. Ah, there we go. Thank you and good night.

(702 words)